The Parenting Panel with Carolyn Shulman

Carolyn Shulman knew from the time her father gave her a guitar at age nine that she wanted to play music for the rest of her life. However, it wasn’t until after she had practiced law in Houston for almost a decade, performing in local venues when she could, that she finally decided to focus her full attention on her lifelong passion of writing and performing original music. Carolyn’s sound is a nod to influences such as Shawn Colvin, Mary Chapin Carpenter, Tom Petty, Susan Gibson, and Patty Griffin. Her lyrics are clear and deliberate, yet layered with meaning, while her driving guitar rhythms and detailed fingerpicking serve as scaffolding for her vocal melodies. Now based in Denver, Carolyn is excited to share her debut, full-length album, Grenadine & Kerosene. Produced by John McVey at Cinder Sound Studios, Grenadine & Kerosene features a full band of seasoned musicians. The album was released on May 21, 2021 to positive reviews, and within its first ten days, it landed it on the Folk Radio Top Albums Chart. She’s also released videos for her songs “Double Stars” and “Matter of Time.”

How many children do you have? And what are their names and ages? 

I have one child. Her name is Sarah, and she is eight years old. She is spirited, smart, creative, loves to sing and dance, and keeps us on our toes!

Did you have fears or concerns about how becoming a parent would interfere with your artistic endeavors?

I was actually working as an attorney, practicing social security disability law, when my daughter was born. But, I would speculate that had I been pursuing music full time at that point, then yes, I would have had concerns about how becoming a parent would affect my creative energy as well as my ability to play shows.

Have those fears come true, or no?

In some ways, yes, and in other ways, no. Parenting requires a great deal of time and energy, and if I’m not managing my time well, then it starts to feel like I don’t have enough time or energy left to work on my music. But, my solution to that is to be more deliberate about planning my practice time, just like I would need to do for any other job. As for parenting interfering with playing shows, I have been thoughtful and intentional about how much time I want to devote to playing live each month, because of course, that is time away from home. I found a balance that works for our family. Fortunately, my husband is super supportive, and as long as he and I coordinate with each other, I am usually able to play the shows that I want to play and know I can rely on him, or occasionally a sitter, to manage childcare. That said, before the pandemic began, I intentionally kept my performances down to only a few per month because that was what felt good for me.

In what ways has parenthood helped your creativity, if any?

Parenthood changed how I see the world, and that shift in perspective informs my songs. I have heard Brandi Carlile talk about how parenthood gave her a sense of “radical empathy.” In other words, once you have a child, you begin to see just about everyone as someone’s baby, which in turn makes you more intentional about being patient and treating others with more love and kindness, because that’s how we hope others will treat our children. I really resonated with that idea and have felt that in my own life after becoming a parent. I think that perspective has come out in my songwriting. The added responsibilities and concerns of parenthood have also lent a maturity to my songwriting that I probably lacked before, too. Then again, some of that may also just be age! 

How do you juggle your family and your career? Who’s your support system?

My main support system is my amazing husband, Gerald. From the beginning, when I first told him I wanted to stop practicing law and later decided to focus on music, he has been my biggest supporter and encourager. He was one hundred percent on board to help me achieve my goals and dreams and is a true partner in all senses of the word. I can rely on him to manage things at home and with our daughter when I need to be out for a show, or recording, etc. He is an oncologist with a very busy practice, but he adjusts his schedule as needed to accommodate mine, just as I have done for him countless times. He even enthusiastically helped me convert an office space we shared in our home into a music room recently, giving me the gift of my own space to work and create. We make a great team! 

I am also able to rely on my parents and brother for emotional support. Whenever there’s something related to music I want to bounce off of someone, my Dad is my first call. He’s played guitar as a hobby for most of his life, and he loves to talk shop! My family have been incredible supporters of my music, from nurturing my interest in guitar at nine years old, to recording my debut album and releasing it at the age of forty.

Last but not least, we have an amazing community of close friends who are like family here in Denver who we’ve been able to count on as well.

Has the pandemic taken away or added to your creative flow? Are you taking good care of yourself these days?

At first, the pandemic stopped my creative flow in its tracks. I was incredibly anxious about the threat of the virus to our family because my husband is a physician. While he wasn’t treating known covid patients directly, he had to continue seeing patients in person, not knowing whether they or his coworkers might be asymptomatic or pre-symptomatic, and so I was anxious about him getting sick and/or transmitting it to us. I was not able to create much new music during those months. That kind of existence is pretty draining, and I simply was not in the right frame of mind to create. As a practical matter, I also had less time to focus on writing or even practicing because our daughter’s school was closed, and so I was parenting all day every day and was focused on keeping her happy, healthy, and engaged in learning from home. 

Fortunately, my husband’s clinic had excellent preventative measures in place, and he never contracted covid or brought it home. We all settled into new routines aimed at reducing our risk and also bringing some normalcy and predictability into a pretty crazy situation, and getting into a new groove as a family eventually helped reduce my anxiety and the demands on my energy to a place where I was more able to focus on music again. Sarah’s school was thankfully able to reopen in the fall of 2020, with smart and effective precautions in place, and my husband and I are vaccinated now (Sarah is not eligible yet), so all of those things helped get my creativity flowing again, too!

Have you ever written a song for or about your kids? If so please share a description and a link. 

Yes, but my songs about her have not been recorded! I first wrote a song about my daughter when she was only a few months old. She was born with a head full of dark brown hair, and sometimes after waking up from a nap, it would just look crazy! She looked like a muppet or a troll doll! One afternoon, I wrote a song called “Crazy Hair” inspired by that amazing hair, and it also included verses about how big and blue her eyes were, and how she loved to kick her feet when she was happy. I still love that song! It has a children’s music feel to it. 

I also very recently wrote another song inspired by Sarah, about a parent’s unconditional love for their child, even through all the hardest parts of parenthood. I have not shared that one publicly yet, and I think it still needs some tweaking before I’m ready to perform it.

Lastly, my daughter and I have co-written some songs! When the pandemic began, we got a text from her teacher of a picture of a “unicorn band” drawn by a classmate. Her teacher knew that Sarah and I love to sing and write songs, so she challenged us to write a song for the unicorn band. So we did! I created a very informal (read: not professionally recorded) home video of us singing that, which you can find here. We also co-wrote a silly ode to candy corn right before Halloween 2020 and made a casual home video of that. Some of the best lines in both of those songs were Sarah’s contributions! I look forward to continuing to nurture her love of music just as my parents nurtured mine.

Find Carolyn via:

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