Parenting Panel with Jennifer Harper
Jennifer Harper has always been surrounded by music. Raised my musical parents and enchanted by the piano at a young age, the Washington D.C. born singer/songwriter studied classical piano and later taught herself to play songs she heard on Simon & Garfunkel, CSNY, and Joni Mitchell records that her older sisters owned.
As a teen, she was drawn into alternative-music venues and reggae clubs. Hearing music at political rallies made the deepest impression on her and has guided her career since while strong female voices of the ’80s, like Annie Lennox and Chrissie Hynde, inspire her. The raw intimacy of Tracy Chapman’s voice and lyrics gave her the strength to be an artist true to her own experiences.
We got a chance to speak with Jennifer Harper about being a parent, her must recent musical endeavors, and what it means to be a musician and a parent in today’s landscape:
How many children do you have? And what are their names and ages?
Three. Charlie 22, Amalie 18, Harry 16
Did you have fears or concerns about how becoming a parent would interfere with your artistic endeavors?
Absolutely! I was terrified. It was my dream to have 3 kids and it was my dream to be a singer-songwriter. I absolutely didn’t believe it was possible to do both well. When I was pregnant with my first, I wrote a song about my concerns and ambivalence called “What Would it Be Like” which is on my first album - Angel in the Gallery.
I was reminded of this time in my life with Sinead O’Connors recent passing. Sinead’s fearlessness and passion were incredibly inspiring to me as a young woman who wanted to be an artist. When her song 3 babies was released - I was also contemplating my deep desire to be a mother. To have 3 babies felt like the biggest dream of my life. Although I believe this song is about her miscarriages - I experienced it then as her deeply revealing devotion to both motherhood and artistry. It sort of blew the roof off my concerns. I remember how the song penetrated my being as I could feel that it was not only possible to do both, but that they would make each other that much more rich and beautiful.
In what ways has parenthood helped your creativity, if any?
I have a more unusual path as I didn’t start recording and releasing music until later in life - after my children were born. The deep love I experience as a mother opens my heart which in turn opens the channels of creativity. When the children were young, I would sit at the piano and write when they were running around the house. The sweet sounds of their playing made me feel content - and that love poured into my music. And the times they were driving me crazy, it was a very welcomed escape!
What has parenthood taught you about yourself, your music, or your creative process?
Parenthood has taught me how much I adore being a mom. I’ve learned the less I stress about how to do it all and simply enjoy the present moment with them - the easier it is to create in small pockets of time. This lesson of surrender and softening has been the greatest gift - for my voice especially. I’ve learned the value of my music through them. The joy of the journey. And to trust all is well. All in divine timing.
What’s one thing you wish someone had told you before you became a parent? Any advice for others?
They grow so fast - do not stress about your accomplishments. Being present with them is the greatest gift you can give them and yourself.
My dad did give me the greatest advice: keep your toes dipped in. Meaning that - as long as I did a little, or as much as I could when I could - I would be able to pick it up again so much more easily when I was ready. He was absolutely correct.
Do your children inspire / inform your music?
In a roundabout way yes. Because I know being true to myself, being creatively fulfilled makes me a much better happier mom. And they love to hear me sing and play. I know I’ve inspired them to go after their dreams and to express themselves. This motivates me to never give up, as I know how infinitely valuable my music is.
Not every artist parent incorporates their children into their music - if you do not is this a conscious decision?
I have tried. The same with writing a song for my dad when he passed away. How can I possibly find the words? How can I possibly express my love fully in a song? But now that the children are leaving home, I’m determined. I know it will be deeply satisfying when I capture what I want to say and I love that it will be a lifelong gift for them.