The Parenting Panel with Teressa Mahoney

Singer-songwriter Teressa Mahoney had something of an existential crisis while sitting on the couch one day, seven years ago. At the time, her mom had generously offered to take the kids, and, as Teressa sat there, she just didn’t know what to do with her day. It seemed like her whole life was spent taking care of other people. Since then, Teressa has figured it out: making music is her purpose. The Parker, Colorado-based artist has stepped forward as a prolific and enlightened musician. She has issued two full-length albums and four singles of elegantly emotive folk-pop. For her efforts, Teressa has garnered rave reviews and feature story articles in such esteemed music outlets as New Release Today, UTR Media, The Most Creative Thing, CCM Magazine, Indie Music Spotlight, and Louder Than The Music, among other online publications. In addition to her work as a musician and a mother of four, Teressa actively supports philanthropic initiatives, including the International Justice Mission, an organization committed to ending human slavery.

Teressa’s latest full-length album, Disillusions, out now, features songs that question the very fundamentals of her life. “This album is my bravest musical expression,” she reveals. “In the last five years, I’ve learned some powerful lessons. I was raised with particular convictions, but I’ve looked outside that bubble and seen how other people are affected by that thinking. I felt like I was betraying people staying with those beliefs, so I began questioning everything. If all of that was not truth, then what is truth? This album is about that process.”

You can find Disillusions on Soundcloud now.

Without further ado, let’s get to the Parenting Panel:

How many children do you have? And what are their names and ages?
I have 4. Keaton, 19, Madeleine, 17, Weston, 11, and Wyatt, 9

Did you have fears or concerns about how becoming a parent would interfere with your artistic endeavors?

I just thought I would have to give up my artistic endeavors altogether when I became a mom. I remember having a newborn—it cures you of selfishness and suddenly anything you want or even need takes second place. By the time I had 4 kids, I was so far back on the list I didn’t even know what I wanted anymore. I had stopped even asking myself what I wanted.

Have those fears come true, or no?

What I have learned is that I was wrong. I never needed to give up my artistic pursuits. I mean, yes, when the kids are very young they need a ton of supervision and some things will need to change or maybe be put on hold for a while, but as the kids get more and more independent I think it’s absolutely vital for parents to have their own interests. I got stuck on the “drop everything for the kids” mode and it took me way too long to make art a priority in my life.

I remember feeling so guilty when I did start making time for my art. It was really hard to override that programming that I needed to be available at all times to my kids. But now I see that it’s actually a gift to them to see a parent following what’s in their heart. I want my kids to find their joy in life by pursuing what’s inside of them. I would never want them to squash or ignore their true calling. I’m sorry that for too long, my example to them was to deny myself the life-giving joy that art is. I am working very hard now to be a different kind of example for them.

How do you juggle your family and your career? Who’s your support system?

I recently became single and now I have my kids only every other week. That was such a huge adjustment for me. In a way, though, it has made juggling easier. On the weeks when I have the kids, I do my best to be around all the time. Then when they are gone, I try to get everything done. Of course things overlap sometimes, but having uninterrupted time to just work on my art has been an unexpected byproduct of my new life situation.

My mom and dad live just a few minutes away and they have been total lifesavers since I became a parent. As a kid I wasn’t close with my grandparents, but I think there’s such beauty in inter-generational relationships. I’m so glad that my kids have grown up close to my parents.

Has the pandemic taken away or added to your creative flow? Are you taking good care of yourself these days?

Well, that’s a good question. I recorded my new album, “Disillusions” during the pandemic. We did most of it remotely, but I was able to get to the studio in Nashville to do vocals for a couple of the songs.

I have a natural rhythm of taking in life, then writing, then recording. I keep seeing that cycle over and over in my life as a musician. Last year, during the pandemic, was a writing/recording cycle, which worked out pretty well.

I am working on self care, but it’s such a struggle. I try to start each day out with yoga and meditation, but I only end up doing it maybe half the time. I just keep working toward a healthy balance of starting the day out grounded and still getting all my work done.

In the day to day, it can feel like I’m failing to do self care the way I want to, but when I take a long view, it’s clear that the way I function now is a huge improvement from, say, two years ago. It’s a long walk in the right direction and I’ll get there eventually.

Have you ever written a song for or about your kids? If so please share a description and a link.

I wrote a song for my daughter called “Sing out Your Song.” She was in middle school and experiencing mean girls. It made me think back to my time in middle school. I had two girls who were terrible to me. I remember coming home from school crying and my mom hugged me and tried to make things better. She said, “Maybe one day you’ll write a song about this and it will help other girls.” So to see my own kiddo go through this brought up a lot of emotions for me. I was so impressed by my daughter’s attitude. She just kept showing up and giving people chances. She didn’t shut down and turn inward. I love that about her—she’s such a beautiful soul.

Here’s the link to that song: https://vibe.to/singoutyoursong

Not every artist parent incorporates their children into their music - if you do not is this a conscious decision?

I want to write songs for each of my kids. I sometimes wish I had already written them so it would be fair (I am one for four so far). I’m not going to force it, though. In my experience, songs are a bit like babies. They come when they are ready and not one second before. I generally don’t post about my kids on social media, because I want them to have agency about their online presence. My two teenagers have social media, but the little ones don’t yet. It’s such a hard topic to navigate, and the costs/benefits seem to change every day.

Find Teressa Mahoney via:

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