The Parenting Panel with Mary Jennings
Mary Jennings new album was a “labor of love” amidst a world of turmoil and pandemic pandemonium. While juggling the homeschooling of her 4 year old daughter, being isolated from beloved family members, and no longer being able to perform live and record in studios, Mary found sanctuary learning how to track from home and gave birth to her isolation creation, “Matriarch”. With inspirations from her daughter, her home life, the pandemic, friends, the 20 year anniversary of the loss of her mother, she found all the inspiration she needed to create a well rounded follow up to previous works such as 2015’s “Metamorphosis.” This album will make you laugh, cry, scream, rage, and hopefully land with a cathartic smile at the end.
How many children do you have? And what are their names and ages? (only if you are comfortable with naming names)
I have one hilarious, creative, magical, wing-wearing, fantasyland-living almost 5 year old daughter named Eliza Dawn. We often call her E.D. for short.
Did you have fears or concerns about how becoming a parent would interfere with your artistic endeavors?
Oh I definitely had fears of that. I don’t think I showed that I was pregnant on social media at all for fear that I wouldn’t get called for a gig, vocal work, or interviews. In retrospect that was silly and I have since owned my “rock like a mother” status but at the time I was seriously worried that not only would I not be able to juggle both mom life and artistic endeavors but that people wouldn’t be able to see past my mom label either.
Have those fears come true, or no?
No they have not. Everything is a phase. I definitely needed time during the newborn phase to have a break, spend time with Eliza and settle into being a mom, but I played my first out of town show when she was not even 6 months old and it was totally fine. Since then, I have just had to find the balance. Being Eliza’s mom is the most important part of my life but my artistic autonomy is too so I just have to navigate my way through. It's more work than it used to be but it's completely worth it. And if anyone thinks I am not momming hard enough or not working hard enough as a musician, that's their problem. I am doing the best for MY family and my work.
What has parenthood taught you about yourself, your music, or your creative process?
Routine with a healthy dose of spontaneity is EVERYTHING in this house. Without routine or structure I don’t think I would make time for my music or creative process. When the pandemic hit and all of the sudden I was full time homeschooling in addition to everything else, we had to set up a schedule that worked for everyone to get anything done and stay sane. That said, routine can get old and tired and sometimes you have to throw it out if you are dealing with your child’s (or your own) meltdowns. Being ready to change things up if something isn't working and go with the flow for a day or two (or seven) is just as important as setting up structure and routine.
Has the pandemic taken away or added to your creative flow? Are you taking good care of yourself these days?
In many ways I would say the pandemic has added to my creative flow. Being isolated at home cut out a lot of the daily distractions and rushing to and from places that kept me from sitting down at my piano and working. I had all kinds of fear, anxiety and stress just like everyone else which is a perfect recipe for me to start writing as it is my therapy. Then I started hosting an online open mic over zoom every week (still going on now) that allowed me to be around so many other brilliant musicians that were experiencing the same things and they all inspired me more than ever to be creative again. One of the few positives that came out of the pandemic for me was the isolation creation. I learned how to track and produce my own music, I wrote a lot and with the help of a lot of musician friends and fellow co-producer and engineer, Ryan Youmans, I finished a new album, “Matriarch” that will be out this summer. It’s the first full album since Eliza was born. Taking time out to create music is very much how I take care of myself these days. I love it. And it's important to me to be a model for Eliza not a martyr. I want her to see her mom take time out for her work and creative passions and not sacrificing everything. That will ultimately make her a strong woman. And she loves to come in and help with the music. She was the art director for this new album. She painted the backdrop and me and helped me with pictures. She has loved being a part of the process as well.
Have you ever written a song for or about your kids? If so please share a description and a link.
Yes! One of them is my new single “Matriarch” that came out this Friday, May 7th just in time for Mother’s Day (https://show.co/aDmRM3r). It is all about the strength in being a mother that is passed down from generation to generation and the beauty that comes from giving life. “Liar” is another one that will be on the full album this summer. Everyone always looks shocked when I say that I have a song about my daughter called “Liar.” However, in this song, she is not the liar; I am. It is all about the little fibs we tell our children so that they can maintain their imagination and magic as long as possible.
What’s one thing you wish someone had told you before you became a parent? Any advice for others?
It’s ok for it to be hard. It’s ok for it to be messy. In fact, having and raising a child should be hard and messy. It means that you care and that their well-being matters to you. Embrace the moments that are messy and hard and know that they will pass. Ask for help if you need it. Lean into every feeling as you have them. Live unapologetically with your child because you’re a mom and YOU RULE!
Find Mary Jennings via:
http://www.maryjennings.com/
https://twitter.com/jenningsmusic
https://www.instagram.com/maryjenningsmusic/
