Parenting Panel with Bobby Cool
Bobby Cool (before you ask, yes, that is his real last name) is one of those singer-songwriters who invites us into his living room as he details the joys, the tears, and the emotional ups and downs of everyday life. Like Robert Earl Keen, Cool is a natural songwriter who tells stories in a way that resonate with people. Cool’s emotional authenticity sparkles in his pure vocals, which convey with a tender passion the moving power of small moments in our lives and soar with a poignant fullness as they evoke stirring feelings of common bonds between neighbors, friends, and family. In the vein of Chris Stapleton, Tyler Childers, and Sturgill Simpson Cool blends bluegrass, Americana, and country into a rousing mix that delivers deep feeling in good-time music that remains with us even after the record is finished
He just released his newest Americana album, Family Time. While recorded before the pandemic, Family Time, was released last week and speak on small and large moments that define family life and captures the craziness, humor, regrets, and the celebrations of living together.
During the shutdown, he had to overcome hurdles just to make a living. To make ends-meet during the shutdown, he worked as a janitor, radon inspector, and flooring salesman. Luckily, things started to open up and he resumed work on the album and started playing shows again.
Listen here:
We got a chance to speak with Bobby in this edition of the Parenting Panel. So, without further ado, let’s dive in:
How many children do you have? And what are their names and ages?
We have 3 boys. James is 8, Caleb is 6, and Wyatt is 3.
Did you have fears or concerns about how becoming a parent would interfere with your artistic endeavors?
I think maybe my biggest fear was the unknown of whether or not being an artist and a parent could actually go together. I feel like you hear a lot of horror stories about how an artist has maybe had a successful career but their family life is a mess and you don’t hear a ton of stories about artists that are just crushing it as parents, so that was always in the back of my mind.
Have those fears come true, or no?
In some ways they have and in some ways they haven’t. I think I’ve realized that being an artist is sometimes harder with kids and being a parent is sometimes harder as an artist. In realty though, I think a lot of it is just life with kids. They’re an amazing gift but man will they wear you out. You could be a banker or lawyer or something and I would imagine you still feel the weight of juggling work and homelife.
How do you juggle your family and your career? Who’s your support system?
For my wife and I, doing a three-to-six-month calendar planning session has been really helpful. It allows us to see what the kids have going on with school or sports, we can see how that fits with shows and other work responsibilities and then you do the best you can to make those fit together. And I think, for me, I always try to prioritize family over career. So, if there’s a big family reunion or something and we get a show request for that date, most of the time we’ll do the family event instead. It hasn’t always been that way but learning to set boundaries has been key. Even though they live in Georgia and we’re in Tennessee, our parents have probably been our biggest support system but we’ve had a ton of support from friends, neighbors, and people in our church family. There’s also a group in Franklin called, Porter’s Call, and they offer free counseling to artists and their spouses, which has been an amazing gift.
What’s one thing you wish someone had told you before you became a parent? Any advice for others?
I’ll joke with my wife that I wish someone had told me how hard it was going to be. And by hard, I mean like the hardest thing you’ve ever done, it’s going to change everything, and some days you’ll feel like you’re not going to make it, hard. And yet, on the other hand, it is one of the most joyous and rewarding experiences ever, so it’s totally worth it. I always hesitate to give parenting advice because everyone is so different. And each kid is so different. I will say though, that learning to show yourself grace, especially for first time parents, can help with the stress of parenting. You’re going to mess up and make mistakes but it’s okay. Kids are resilient and if, as parents, we learn to confess to our kids when we’ve messed up, I think those can be some of the best teaching moments.
Have you ever written a song for or about your kids?
I did write one song specifically for our boys called ‘Brother’. The opening verse goes, “It’s like we were made to be together, even though it’s hard to get along. It’s like the saying they say about the birds of feather, or like a little bit of fiddle in a country song. Sometimes you’re a light house out there calling and sometimes we don’t see eye to eye. But you know when the pushing comes to shoving, I’ll have your back and you’ll have mine.” When we went in to track for the new album, Family Time (https://ffm.to/bc-familytime), we recorded ‘Brother’ but it didn’t end up making the cut for the record, so unfortunately I can’t share it yet. There is a song that did make the cut called, The Perry St. Blues (https://ffm.to/perrystreetblues), which is more or less just a snapshot of everyday family life. The end of the song has a little talking part that is 100% a real-life experience for us, so that was fun.
How have you been managing parenting during the pandemic? What has been the hardest part and what is the silver lining?
There have been a lot of ups and downs for sure. The hardest part, early on, was having to completely change what life looked like. Since everything shutdown and shows were canceled, I was looking for work, my wife was homeschooling, and just about everything was flipped upside down. As time went along, though, and especially now that we’re two and a half years in, we’ve been able to see a lot of good come out of having to change. Creatively, even though it took longer, I was able to finish the record and it certainly gave ‘Family Time’ a new meaning for us, since we spent so much time together. I also started the publishing process for a children’s book titled ’99 to 1’ that will hopefully be out later this year. And with work, shows have come back which has been great, but I also started a van rental business because of the pandemic and that has really taken off, so even though I certainly wouldn’t have chosen to go through any of it, I think ultimately, we’ve seen a lot of good come out of it.
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